I wanted a settled life and a shocking one. Think of Van Gogh, cypress trees and church spires under a sky of writhing snakes. I was my father's daughter. I wanted to be loved by someone like my tough judicious mother and I wanted to run screaming through the headlights with a bottle in my hand. That was the family curse. We tended to nurse flocks of undisciplined wishes that collided and canceled each other out. The curse implied that if we didn't learn to train our desires in one direction or another we were likely to end up with nothing. Look at my father and mother today. I married in my early twenties. When that went to pieces I loved a woman. At both of those times and at other times, too, I believed I had focused my impulses and embarked on a long victory over my own confusion. Now, in my late thirties, I knew less than ever about what I wanted. In place of youth's belief in change I had begun to feel a nervous embarrassment that ticked inside me like a clock. I'd never meant to get this far in such an unfastened condition. (p.142) . Michael Cunningham
About This Quote

We all have a dream, a longing that we want to fulfill, but sometimes that dream can be hard to come by. However, there are some things in life that when you get them you feel like you have won the lottery. Maybe when you were younger you might have been more focused on getting married or getting a promotion or becoming a doctor or lawyer, but as you get older you realize that those dreams aren't going to happen. In fact, they may never actually happen.

At least not at the way you think they will. Then there is this quote from Anita Shreve which is about the fleetingness of life and our ability to live it in a way that is meaningful and fulfilling.

Source: A Home At The End Of The World

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